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 The funny, stupid, and irreverent  

 
Yeah, this site used to be about fly fishing. 
But now it's just for fun until we start pawning off Paul's rust covered Lorena Bobbit Divorce Celebration Knives, Blow Up Tony Stewart NASCAR race watching chairs, homemade hot sauces, and a subscription to viewing Chris in the Hot tub playing with African toys.

Times are tough after the dot-com crash.  giggle.   
ssssh!  

Want to learn all about NASCAR, the wonder sport of the new millenium?  Click here.

Food for thought - since we've haven't eaten in awhile -
A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be the
one sitting next to you saying "That was fucking awesome!"

When is the last time you've been to a drive-in?

Go eat worms.  Seriously.  How to cook them here.

I know you are a closet peeping tom... here.
 
The funniest thing we've seen in awhile - but we don't get out much. - click here.   Caution - not for youngsters.... Our dose of attitude from us to you
AND - the wisdom of Marilyn Monroe So anyway...
For now - fun. 
• The Original Online Corruption Test -  • Don't you love those Priceless ads? 
Our version here.  No one is safe.
  • It's a burger king holiday!  http://www.pquinn.com/fries/
• Famous Athlete Quotes - they actually said it!                                         • A Healthy level of insanity - fun tricks to play on your sane friends!
•  SatireWire • Altered Words - very interesting
• Know your beer?                    • Targeted Marketing!    
• UrbanLegends.com - is it true? • Odd Todd -
• How smart are you? - click   • A reason to love NASCAR -   
• Because you may need to know - JiveOn.com • The Osama page - lots of links
• All kinds of funny junk - www.emailfiles.com and
www.lotsofjokes.com and www.jokeuniversity.com
• The world's worst hunting dog.  Another reason NOT to throw your Viagra in the trash. 
• Oh my god - there are people just like us out there - www.thedrunkenmonkey.com • You have to love any website that has Mickey spanking Minnie as a logo, and a game where you can smack Britney Spears with a sausage - www.funnywebsite.com
• The incredible dancing ant • Watch W get his groove on here
• What's in your Chinese food?  Find out here • Your momma said your face would stick like that - see why
• Know your ABC's - • The Boogerworm! -
• The last pictures from the top of the WTC - see them to believe them  • Your Prison Bitch name,
you know you want it - click   
• Why I hate cats • Gross - createafart.com here
• What the folks on Survivor should do • What not to do on eBay
• Quit screwing around - see why here. • Check out MondoMiniShows - and the Santa Claus Artist - just in time for Christmas!   
• Conspiracy theory - smoking gun here • Definition of a Son of a Bitch
• Best damn chain letter we've seen   • hoogerbrugge - beyond explanation - just go.
• Rotten.com    Daily Rotten • Pirated-sites - very cool
• Here it is - the top secret scoring system used by all women!  • How to make an atom bomb, hee, hee...
• The insanity Test   • Want to speak with an accent?  .
• The short people game  • This is very, very stupid and funny
• Click here - gently.... • DO NOT CLICK HERE.
• See the world - earthcam.com & TrueLooks Webcams

PS - where we need to go for new years - here
  
Rants and General Misgivings
The solution for the prevention of hijackings, and at the same time getting our airline industry back on its feet is as follows:

Since men of the Muslim religion are not allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of our female flight attendants with strippers.

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course, every business man in this country would start flying again in hope of seeing a naked woman.

We would have no more hijackings, and the airline industry would have record sales. Now why didn't congress think of this?

Now, if Clinton was still in office, this would be have already been done!
 

 
A treatise on Loud Americans and Muslim Terrorists by a TheBigFly.com friend and contributing author
 

  
The United States commenced a missile strike on Afghanistan Sunday, delaying the start time of the UAW-GM Quality 500 at Lowe’s Motor Speedway by 10 minutes as President George W. Bush addressed the American public.
 
Tony Stewart may have best summed up the feelings of the entire NASCAR community, saying: “Go get ‘em. I’d go right now -- if I could go and help right now I’d go. It’s time to finish this guy off. Bring his head back on a stick, as far as I’m concerned.”
 

  
The poetic rantings of Leonard Pitts on the attacks -
article one - article two

  

Joke of the month (or longer if I don't update it)

Need to describe your ass or someone else's over the Internet but want it to be visual? Well, how about some "assicons"? Here goes:

(_!_)     A regular ass                        (__!__)     A fat ass

(!)     A tight ass                                 (_*_)     A sore ass

(_o_)     An ass that's been around      (_x_)     Kiss my ass

(_X_)     Leave my ass alone              (_zzz_)     A tired ass

(_E=mc2_)     A smart ass                (_?_)     Dumb ass

(_jack_)     Jackass                          (_-$_)     Cheap ass

(_)    Half ass                                  (Mom)(__)     Tattooed ass

 [_!_]     A hard ass

  

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars and Venus thing.

And, I never have figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil when it hears the words, "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around while she tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her to take all three of them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200. a pair, to which I said,"OK." And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you ... she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff right now."

You should have seen the look on her face ... it went completely blank.

I then said,"Really honey! I just want you to hold this stuff for a while."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man."

I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the spring thaw.
 

Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession....to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts....but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King's chief physician. Horatio said "I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes". Michael the Dragon Master readily agreed.
The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching lotion and poured a little of it into the Queens brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed the itching commenced and grew in intensity.
Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Michael the Dragon Master's mouth.
King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master and issued the imperial command. Michael the Dragon Master slipped the antidote to the itching lotion, which Horatio had given him, into his mouth and for the next four hours worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts.
Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding payment. However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Horatio anything and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion into King Arthur's loincloth. And Michael the Dragon Master was again summoned by the King...
It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up.
"Patrick Henry, 1775." he said.

"Very good! Who said 'Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'"?

Again, no response except from Suzuki: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed.
Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F__k the Japanese."

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Suzuki put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Suzuki says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
"Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit! If you ever say anything else I will have you killed."

Suzuki franticly yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."

The teacher fainted.
"Well,Mrs O'connor,so you want a divorce?"the solicitor questioned his client."Tell me about it.Do you have a grudge?"
"Oh no," replied Mrs O'Connor."shure now we have a carport".
The solicitor tried again."Well does the man beat you up?" he enquired.
"No no," said Mrs O'connor looking puzzled. "Oim always first out of bed."
Still hopeful,the solicitor tried again."Well does he go in for unnatural connubial practises?"
"Shure now he plays the flute but I dont think he knows anything about the connubial."
Now desperate, the solicitor pushed on."What I'm trying to find out is what grounds you have."
"Bless ye sor. We live in a flat-not even a window box,let alone grounds."
"Mrs O'connor," said the solicitor in some exasperation,"to get a divorce you need a reason that the court can consider,What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?"
"Ah well now," said the lady."Shure it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."
  



 
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