SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed .............................................+1

You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0

You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-1

You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5

You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............ 0

When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1

When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom...........-2

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5

in the snow...................................................+8

but return with beer..........................................-5

and no liners................................................-25

You check out a suspicious noise at night..................... 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing............ 0

You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5

You pummel it with a six iron................................+10

It's her cat.................................................-40

AT THE PARTY

You stay by her side the entire party......................... 0

You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College

drinking buddy........................................-2

Named Tiffany.................................................-4

Tiffany is a dancer..........................................-10

With breast implants.........................................-18

HER BIRTHDAY

You remember her birthday......................................0

You buy a card and flowers.....................................0

You take her out to dinner.................................... 0

You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+1

Okay, it is a sports bar......................................-2

And it's all-you-can-eat night................................-3

It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is

painted the colors of your favorite team..................-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Go with a pal..................................................0

The pal is happily married....................................+1

The pal is single.............................................-7

He drives a Ferrari..........................................-10

With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED).................-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER

You take her to a movie.......................................+2

You take her to a movie she likes.............................+4

You take her to a movie you hate..............................+6

You take her to a movie you like..............................-2

It's called Death Cop III.....................................-3

Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........................-9

You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans........-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE

You develop a noticeable pot belly...........................-15

You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise

to get rid of it....................................................+10

You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and

baggy Hawaiian shirts..............................-30

You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too.".............-800

THE BIG QUESTION

She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You hesitate in responding...................................-10

You reply, "Where?"..........................................-35

You reply, "No, I think it's your ass"......................-100

Any other response...........................................-20

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen, displaying a concerned expression..................0

You listen, for over 30 minutes...............................+5

You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50

You're mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "well,

what do you think I should do".............-50

you have fallen asleep......................................-200