Corruption Test

 The funny, stupid, and irreverent  

“The only reason I don’t like playing in the World Series is I can’t watch myself play.”

-- Reggie Jackson

“The day you take complete responsibility for yourself, the day you stop making any excuses, that’s the day you start to the top.”

-- O.J. Simpson

 “Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw.”

-- Ron Atkinson

 “I’m not an athlete. I’m a professional baseball player.”

-- John Kruk

“I dunno. I never smoked any Astroturf.”

-- Tug McGraw, asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf


“I am the most loyal player money can buy.”

-- Don Sutton, pitcher for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics and California Angels


“Always root for the winner. That way you won’t be disappointed.”

-- Tug McGraw


“People think we make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don’t realize that most of us only make $500,000.”

-- Baseball player Pete Incaviglia, 1990


“They shouldn’t throw at me. I’m the father of five or six kids.”

-- Baseball player Tito Fuentes, after getting hit by a pitch.


“I’m a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife.”

-- Baseball player Mike Greenwell


“As I remember it, the bases were loaded.”

-- Baseball player Garry Maddox, asked his reaction to hitting a grand slam


“Better make it six; I can’t eat eight.”

-- Pitcher Dan Osinski, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices


“Me and George and Billy are two of a kind.”

-- Baseball player Mickey Rivers, on his relationship with George Steinbrenner and Billy Martin


“The game was closer than the score indicated.”

-- Baseball player Dizzy Dean, after a 1-0 game


“There is one word in America that says it all, and that word is, ‘You never know.’“

-- Pitcher Joaquin Andujar


“Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.”

-- Baseball player Pedro Guerrero, on sportswriters


“Men, I want you just thinking of one word all season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.”

-- Bill Peterson, football coach


“He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings.”

-- Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins, 1991


“I don’t care what the tape says. I didn’t say it.”

-- Football coach Ray Malavasi


“I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating.”

-- Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs, 1986


“Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

-- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann.


“I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.”

-- New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers


“Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”

-- Charles Shackleford of the NCSU basketball team


“I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”

-- Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships.


“We’re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.”

-- Basketball player Jason Kidd


“Are you any relation to your brother Marv?”

-- Basketball player Leon Wood to announcer Steve Albert


“It’s almost like we have ESPN.”

-- Magic Johnson, on how well he and James Worthy work together


“I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”

-- Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece


“My sister’s expecting a baby, and I don’t know if I’m going to be an uncle or an aunt.”

-- Chuck Nevitt , North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice, 1982


“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.”

-- Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh


“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious”

-- Alan Minter


“[He] called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse’. I’m not a recluse.”

-- Boxer Mike Tyson, on writer Wallace Matthews


“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.”

-- Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regimen of heavyweight Andrew Golota, 1996.


“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father”

-- Greg Norman


“The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical”

-- Racing driver Murray Walker


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