Are you tired of all those mushy friendship poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a "friendship" poem that really speaks of true friendship and truth itself!
When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue, ...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile, ...I'll know you finally had sex .
When you are scared, ...I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, ...I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused, ...I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick, ...stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall, ...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
Send this poem to ten of your closest friends (or else you will have bad luck and go to hell and get depressed because you realize you only have 2 friends, and one of them is not speaking to you right now anyway).
P.S. A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.